Thanksgiving….again

We  have our Canadian thanksgiving early in October but as an American, I am always going to be rooted in the American version in late November.  Thanksgiving (American style) is Thursday and I have been giving it a great deal of thought.  It was exactly one year ago today that I had my first doctor’s appointment that ultimately led to a diagnosis of cancer two short but intense weeks later.  It sure put a cramp in our holiday plans as we had to switch Thanksgiving dinner from Thursday to Sunday but we did indeed have our feast and give our thanks.

This year I am waffling about making another Thanksgiving dinner – mostly because it will just be two of us.  Somehow, it doesn’t feel like Thanksgiving without a crowd of people and at least one argument.  It’s not a holiday here in Canada so everyone has to work as usual on both Thursday and Friday, meaning that you can’t lie on the living room floor all day on Friday, occasionally parting with the floor to raid the fridge for leftovers.

I guess I am also feeling a bit blue, reminiscing about the past year.  It has been the most difficult of my life.  Cancer, financial ruin (as a result of the treatment costs) and debilitating mental illness in the family have conspired to test my mettle.  All these things, one muddles through at the time, but they invariably ‘catch up’ and have, in the form of pre-holiday blues.  So far, I have survived all these trials and presumably will continue to persevere and for that I know I should be thankful.

For a sense of peace, I have been trying to give back to my new community.  I am volunteering at the local cable television station, The Schizophrenia Society and also participated in a two day cancer agency forum as a patient representative.  The latter had the unfortunate side-effect (forgive the pun) of forcing me to relive the treatment experience and realize that I am still far from recovered both physically and emotionally.  I do, however, hope that offering to medical professionals, some insight into a patient’s perspective, will help those who must follow in my footsteps.

So all in all, some good can come of our experiences, no matter how trying they may be at the time.  That said, I will plaster a smile on my face and go and do the thing that usually brings some happiness to me and my loved ones.  Where the hell is that cookbook anyway?