Cancer and Stigma

If you are squeamish or prefer not to hear about cancer, this would be a good time to hit the ‘back’ button. I may lose a lot of readers, FB friends and twitter pals over this post but it’s one I feel strongly that I need to write.

**NOTE: Don't worry, the next post is going back to food since got squid ink for Christmas and can't wait to make black pasta.

I’ve admitted that I have cancer but haven’t said what kind it is. I have Stage IIIB Anal cancer, a type I didn’t know existed before hearing about Farrah Fawcett this past summer. I have told my family of course, and a few friends. The news is usually met with silence. People are expecting me to say breast cancer or even lung cancer, since I have been a longtime smoker. Once they recover their equilibrium they are still at a loss for what to say, though I can hardly blame them. No one even likes to say the word ‘anus’ much less put it next to the word ‘cancer’. It’s funny that our society has no problem with the words; breast, vagina, penis, prostrate, cervix, uterus etc but anal cancer is taboo.

Additionally most anal cancer is associated with HPV – a sexually transmitted disease that over 25 million women in the US alone have been exposed to; even though it is a rare cancer effecting only about 5000 people per year. If HPV is so prevalent and the cancer so rare, there must be other factors. From whence my particular cancer came, I don’t know at this point but I think people want an easy answer such as HPV or smoking so that they can point to those risk factors and declare themselves safe. I get that, I really do but it certainly doesn’t help the person suffering from this disease. And believe me, it is suffering since this particular type of tumor is very painful.

This type of cancer used to be treated with a radical surgery that left the patient with a permanent colostomy bag. Medicine has since come up with a treatment that is less radical in its permanent effects but apparently just as radical in its debilitating effects during treatment. Needless to say, I am not looking forward to the treatment which involves a temporary colostomy bag and simultaneous radiation and chemotherapy. I'm telling you this because like any cancer patient (no matter what the type) - treatment sucks and I may need your support.

It’s a cruel irony that a self-proclaimed foodie like me should get this particular tumor since I now need to be ultra careful of what I eat simply to minimize the pain. At the end of the day, I have a cancer that may make you feel uncomfortable. I try to minimize that by making crass butt jokes hoping that laughter will help everyone relax and not treat me as though I am tainted. I don’t mind if you crack (pun intended) a joke or too as well. So don’t stop calling or talking to me because you don’t know what to say. I don’t expect you to know what to say because frankly, I don’t even know what I need to hear. Just remember that it’s still me. I still like to talk about food and share a laugh. I just may need a bit more compassion than I normally would.

Oh, and no one brings cancer upon themselves. Thanks for listening - we now return you t your regularly scheduled food blog...